"Yeah, of course you do. Give it to me!" -- Tom, responding to a dude from the label who revealed that he had the 2011 RSD Superchunk/Coliseum split 7" for him
"I am going to call shenanigans on that." -- Tom, disputing the claim that attractive girls were present at the Amadeus Nerd Party
"Party for one. Right here. Happenin' ... now. And it's pretty good." -- Coco Hames, flying solo in her London flat
"I think he's a savant. Gifted in ways that no one can explain." -- Dave from Knoxville, describing the mysterious mind thing of Fredericks
"... or enjoy." -- Tom, putting a different spin on the peculiar New Port Richey brainspace
"First of all, it's science-fiction. A deer sees white pants coming at him, he's gonna run away. He's gonna see that from 200 yards away. Some dude with white pants and the light reflecting off his goofball sunglasses. Big Buck Hunter. Shameful." -- Tom, pointing out the shortcomings of this hipster shoot-em-up
"In this part of Jersey it would have had Zubaz on instead of a pink diaper, though." -- Ted Leo, explaining the regional attire worn by the dangling van monkeys of Bloomfield
"Wow. Heather Graham, the guys from Jawbreaker, and Spike. It's like a red carpet!" -- Tom, marveling at the NYC celebrity parade
"I'm taking creative writing and English literature with a minor in food services." -- Emma, detailing her path to becoming Canada's finest chalkboard prose stylist
"Welcome back. We knew you'd be back." -- Flight Attendant, welcoming Ted Leo back to the slums of coach
"Laughinstock. Food. Laughingstock. Food." -- Mr. T (via Tom), considering a Brisk Super Bowl commercial offer
"He's like an out-of-shape person that they hooked up to an air hose who just kept inflating. Like, 'I'm gettin' bigger! I'm gettin' bigger!'" -- Tom, revealing Hulk Hogan's workout regimen
"Whaddya think? It's a gold disc, isn't it?" -- Herb Wilkinson, predicting Billboard certification for his "Living Hardcore" single
"It was, and I'll tell you, the soda turned bad, and it really sent those elk sausages barking at the door. They were barkin' loud!" -- Herb Wilkinson, describing the severity of his digestive distress
"Like those Harry Turtledove books where the Nazis win World War II and basically Wall Street is now called Adolf Hitler Avenue." -- Herb Wilkinson, placing American Hardcore: A Tribal History in the historical fiction genre
"They also brought along a lot of these lesser gangs with them who were awful fighters. Gangs like The Painted Willies and Tom Troccoli and his Dogs. Terrible gangs. Real bad. Bad fighters." -- Herb Wilkinson, lamenting The Black Flags' association with subpar forces
"I thought those were guns and spears and canons. Those are drums?!" -- Herb Wilkinson, discovering that American Hardcore does not contain photos of weaponry
"I picked it up, and I flew it over to Leftbridge. And then I hovered above Leftbridge, and I dropped Rightbridge onto Leftbridge. Smashed it. And that's why there's no Rightbridge or Leftbridge now. It's called Middlebridge. Yup." -- Herb Wilkinson, detailing the logistics of the Lady Foot Locker blimp bombing that killed 712 citizens
"Are you bleeping everything I'm saying?! Okay. Well then he shoved me, and then I shoved him into this wall full of . And they all turned on and then we both got stung." -- Herb Wilkinson, attempting to provide the obscene particulars of the Del Sparrow's Erogenous Zone device zapping
"Well, it's a satanic march if you ask me." -- Herb Wilkinson, denouncing scum-rockers The Buckingham's hit single, "Kind of a Drag"
"Oh my ... what is this?! OH MY GOD! Noooooo! Nooooooooooo! WHAT IS THIS?! AHHHHHHH, I'm gonna, AHHHHHH! No! No! Nooooooooooo! No! No! Noooo! Noooo! Oh my God. Oh my God (whimpering). It's so much worse than I could have ever imagined." -- Herb Wilkinson, reacting to his first exposure to MDC's "Business on Parade"
"Oh, why don't you shut up. Piece of filth!" -- Herb Wilkinson, refusing Tom's recommendation to visit a licensed medical doctor
"Goodnight, Dumm Oaf." -- Tom, bidding farewell to his new meal ticket
"Who was behind the counter? Andrew Dice Clay's girlfriend?" -- Tom, inquiring about the identity of the circa-1988 Hat Check Girl at the Museum of Natural History
STP - "25 Miles/Safer"
( Click here to acquire the other side of the "Smoke 'Em" 7")
The Vivians - "Midnight"
( Click here to acquire the rest of I Fear)
Sloan - "The Answer Was You"
( Click here to buy The Double Cross)
Quintron - "Ring The Alarm"
( Click here to buy Sucre Du Sauvage)
Tyler Jon Tyler - "Faster Than Light"
( Click here to buy Tyler Jon Tyler)
White Mystery - "Pumpkin Crème"
( Click here to buy Blood & Venom)
Milk Music - "Fertile Ground"
( Click here to read the Still Single review of Beyond Living; the slab's already OOP!)
Prisonshake - "I Hear Your Name"
( Click here to acquire more of the Singles '87-'89 box set)
Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun: