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Top Chef.

"I'm gonna smash this AIR CONDITIONING! What am I, seeing Transformers? It's July. I'm seeing a summer movie with that blowin' in my face?" -- Tom, venting his rage about the blockbuster blast in the studio
"The unpledgers are sinners in the hand of an angry God. Which is the way God should be. Angry all the time. Right? Isn't that what we want from God? Mad at us?" -- Tom, contemplating the prickly persona of the other Lord of Living Lightning
"I thought he was the dog. Was there a dog in Coraline? I don't know." -- Tom, trying to recall voice actore John Hodgman's role in the animated feature
"You won't have to shop for a coffin if you win that one." -- Therese, highlighting a time-saving perk of The Misfits box set Grand Prize
"You're a vision, Tom Scharpling." -- Therese, reveling in the resplendent host's chef hat, coat, and stripe-ed pants ensemble
"If I ever murder anybody, I could go on the run. There's one person in every town. I'll be okay. I'll be hiding in your cellar. One person in every town. It'll be like The Fugitive ... on steroids!" -- Tom, finding safe harbor in The Best Show's worldwide support network
"Look, I know I goof on Mike. I call him all these names: Degenerate. Lowlife. Creep. Sex offender. I call him these things. Alle ... eh. [sotto voce] I think there's been a conviction in there. No, he's not been convicted of anything. He's beat the rap every time. Every time he beats the rap! He's like the Teflon Don." -- Tom, comparing the slipperiness of his noble figurehead (wait, what's "noble" mean again?) to organized crime boss John Gotti
"I got a guy who does the most amazing Hinton Als. It's so much fun." -- John Hodgman, touting the voicework of a cast member from his in-house The New Yorker readings
"This is pretty esoteric. Yeah, pretty esoteric. Not esoteric enough. Let's talk about The Atlantic." -- John Hodgman, taking the discussion farther down the newsstand shelf
"I'm an old man, but I'm strong! I'm wearin' a shirt that's one size too small for me!" -- Sid Caesar (via Tom), flaunting his hott bod on the set of Grease
"I do dips on chez when I'm in hotels travelin'. I can do two! Show me someone else at 71 that can do two dips. Amazed I haven't separated my shoulduhs. I'm gonna outlive all of 'em." -- Sid Caesar (via Patton), enlisting in the Jock Squad, Seniors Division
"We're not putting this James Taylor thing back on until these phones get ringing!" -- Tom, tiptoeing across the sacred ground of deadly serious PBS pledge driving
"Yeah, it's the new Rudy. It looks like I'm someone's lovable shut-in uncle." -- Patton Oswalt, explaining the inspiration for his Big Fan DVD cover art
"She is a balm for these troubled times." -- Therese, taking solace in Bonnie from GA's generous pledge
"Except for the wrestling part, you have appropriated everything from my life." -- AP Mike, suing the producers of The Wrestler for borrowing his Bayonne bildungsroman
"Morf! Morf! Morf!" -- Tom, incorrectly identifying the Borg name of Jean-Luc Picard
"I'd like to ask a Dr. Who question." -- Tom, entering the "Clash of the Titans" Sci-Fi showdown
"That's what a hitchhiker hears before she gets chloroformed when she gets into our car. That's her signal." -- Patton Oswalt, revealing a dark secret
"This movie stinks, Grandpa!" -- Robert Preston's grandson, issuing his instant reaction to a screening of The Last Starfighter
"Way down below the ocean, where I wanna be. She may be." -- Donovan, hailing Atlantis

[TBSOWFMU - 3/9/10 / Full Podmirth / Best Show Gems / Myspace / Fotpedia [RIP?] / Newbridgctionary / Headquarters / S&W / Twitter-S / Twitter-W]


Dokken - "Back For The Attack"

( Click here to buy the Dream Warriors EP)

Warrant - "Mr. Rainmaker"

( Click here to buy Cherry Pie)

Defenestration - "Moneywagon"

( Click here to acquire Dali Does Windows)

Valley Lodge - "Comin' Around"

( Click here to buy Semester at Sea)

CoCoComa - "Water Into Wine"

( Click here to buy Things Are Not All Right)

Breaking Circus - "Three Cool Cats"

( Click here to lift Smokers' Paradise)

The Amps - "Empty Glasses"

( Click here to buy Pacer)

Doug Gillard - "From What I've Done"

( Click here to buy Call From Restricted from eMusic)

Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun and pledge:

"Oh, we're halfway there." -- J. Bon Jovi

Turn the music up, turn me down. Tom, let's go get 'em again. This time it's for the money, my ninjas. Cave-In-Rock, stand up. The marathon ... has begun! GOOOOOOO! Host Tom Scharpling is once again sickened by a sluggish start with dead phones. He asks AP Mike to get Pangaea, but one ringing phone saves the day for now. Tom is also in the flesh about flying solo due to an MIA co-host. He puts the show in the L column just before a voice trickles in from the Negative Zone. It is indeed an audible Therese assuming her post after resolving some microphone issues (probably a fudge-encrusted housing unit).

Tom surveys the Phone Room and sees a ghastly tableau: people sitting around a coffee klatch having a grand old time. He wants them answering phones nonstop for three hours. Tom is mad and growls to prove it. In what seems like a plot by Shout! Radio operatives to unhinge their potential employee, the studio's air conditioning is blowing in Tom's face like he's at a July screening of Transformers. He wants to solve the problem by smashing the A/C unit. Early pledger Michelle in Green Bay, WI, offers to combat the chill by knitting Tom a scarf in the color of his choice. He requests Oklahoma City Thunder road jersey blue and an immediate shipment. Tom calls for his soothing iced coffee to prevent a full-blown conniption.

2010reagan84.pngHe does preserve some warmth by donning a chef's hat to complete his look for the Best Show marathon finale. Despite the culinary costume, Tom envisions himself more like the musical conductore Zubin Mehta, orchestrating another triumph after last week's symphony of destruction. Killing is Tom's business ... and business is good! He also plans to run down chumps like Catherine O'Hara chasing Griffin Dunne in her armored ice cream truck in Martin Scorsese's After Hours. In the words of Y3K-pledger Mackro, Tom hopes to renew his standing as the "spiral architect of chump eviction" with a scorched-Earth romp echoing the Reagan '84 electoral landslide. To quote that successful campaign's famous slogan, "It's morning again in America's heartland, there's a Communist bear in the woods, and it's time to pledge."

Co-Host: DJ Therese

Special Guests: John Hodgman, Patton Oswalt, and Squeaky, a troubling squeeze toy purchased at PetSmart by a sleep-deprived AP Mike.


Week 2 Phone Room Volunteers

- Neil
- Karen
- Jacob
- Man in Black
- Frank
- Glenn
- Emily
- Linda
- David the Intern
- Laurie from Miami/Chapel Hill
- Gordon
- DJ Hatch
- DJ Terre T
- AP Mike
- Sparkiepop
- Chad
- Harold Blvd.
- Ramsey (eye-patched acoustic strumming)
- Mo
- Spoony
- Corrie
- Jake
- Todd
- Tim (filming)
- Scratchbomb (lil' iPod videography, general NY Mets ranting)
- John (photographing per usual)


- John Hodgman enters the fray by high-fiving the Phone Room volunteers like Jay Leeno courting local news affiliates. Tom can't imagine anyone who doesn't love slapping five with their favorite comedian before he tells them jokes. He proposes that all comedy clubs install an official "High-Five Zone" to create a party atmosphere for their shows. The headliners can then run the gauntlet before telling their best Mitten Rombley and Eldrick Woods funnies. Hodgman wants to give Tom a high-five through the studio glass, Midnight Express style! Tom reviews his guest's impressive resume: authore, pitchman, (pretend) actore, and occasional voice speaker into microphones. He reminds listeners that Hodgman was a voice artist (playing Charlie Jones/Other Father, not any canines) for the Oscar-nominated film, Coraline. Tom thinks Coraline was robbed of its deserved Best Animated Feature statue by Pixar's Up.


Hodgman points out that it was a big year for animation with Wes Anderson's heist film Little Foxes, starring Tatum O'Neal as sassy safecracker Gretchen Fox, The Red Balloon, and The Secret of Kells in the mix. (He omitted another gem: Bobby Zombie's The Haunted World of El Superbeasto.) Hodgman unveils his Up-inspired plan to attach eight million balloons to the roof of his Park Slope apartment building and lift off for South America on May 15, 2010. He will inform anyone not interested in joining his voyage to The Lost World to look for new lodging because he has a promise to fulfill. Tom asks Hodgman how he would feel if he saw the same notice from one of his neighbors. Hodgman says it would be an improvement because these goons currently annoy him by posting instructions on how to properly break down a cardboard box. Tom says that he's generally a Law Abiding Citizen, but his lone vice is loading the bed of his Fred Sanford-style pick-up truck with cardboard and dumping it out on the overpass at the unsuspecting cars below. Hodgman wonders if he puts up a "Support The Troops" banner pre-jettisoning.


Tom refers to the new reality show that aired after the Super Bowl on CBS as The Accidental CEO. AP Mike correctly identifies it as Undercover Boss, an expose of executives trying to cut the mustard at the bottom rungs of their corporate ladders and engage with the riff-raff. While watching the premiere, Tom realized that he had a connection to Larry O'Donnell, President and COO of Waste Management, Inc. In a nutshell, he drives to industrial complexes in the middle of the night to fill the guy's trash receptacles. Hodgman asks Tom if he spotted any of his old issues of The New Yorker in the episode. Tom thinks pounds should be the official unit of measure for this periodical. He estimates that he is four pounds behind on his The New Yorker reading. Hodgman says he hires college students to digest each issue and then narrate the content in the voices of the writers. He praises the work of the student who uncannily channels Hilton Als, the magazine's theater critic. Tom announces that he's not a fan of the underdrawn blob people that populate The New Yorker's cartoons. Hodgman doesn't think the conversation is sufficiently esoteric, so he wants to talk about The Atlantic. Tom says he canceled his subscription to that magazine faster than he's ever canceled before, surpassing his dismissal of Sweatpants Collector by three days. He found The Atlantic's book reviews so annoying that they made him not want to read books he was previously interested in.


Hodgman reports that his entertainment during yesterday's aeroplane flight from Los Angeles to NYC was viewing Pierre Morel's fontastically violent action-thriller Taken followed by perusing The Atlantic. He watches Taken, which is promoted by a grassroots, Tea Party-like movement, on every trip because it's the perfect pairing for Ambien and in-flight food. Hodgman questions many of star Liam Nessom's outrageous methods (e.g., extreme martial arts, dural sac obliterations, lambastings) to track down his kidnapped daughter in a Parisian underworld. When it comes to Neesom vehicles, Tom can't wait for his turn as Zeus in the new three-dimensional Clash of the Titans. He saw the 1981 original many times in the theater despite the fact that it was pure garbage. Tom suspects that legendary stop-motion modeler Ray Harryhausen glued horns on old monsters from shelves in a back closet to make them look like they came from olden Greek times. Hodgman says that Harryhausen probably phoned it in after getting sick of hearing Harry Hamlin's diatribes. Hamlin, a noted perfectionist with an unimpeachable body of work, signed on as Perseus in 1978 to ensure that the mechanical owl effects were convincing. Hodgman drops a little-known trivia nugget: Hamlin vetted every word of every L.A. Law script.

He concludes the segment by telling Tom that his life was changed when he first tuned his Internet-enabled computore and then his traditional radio to The Best Show. Hodgman felt like he joined a community of strange and wonderful personalities who gleefully approached Tom and got swatted away like flies. He was then strangely and unexpectedly embraced by said community following his first guest appearance in November 2008. Hodgman says that was the greatest treasure and honor of all, and it means a lot for him to be here for his second straight marathon to help raise dollars and cents for the indispensable public resource known as WFMU. However, he does think Tom needs to better pace himself and not sprint for the entire three-hour marathon show. Tom assures Hodgman that he trained for this kind of event. He mentions a private conversation he had with Hodgman about the saddest thing one could chisel onto a tombstone. Hodgman doesn't recall it. Tom thinks they came up with, "Did I show 'em, ma?" They revise the inscription to "We showed 'em, Ma, didn't we?" Tom asks Hodgman if he'd be willing to be a Celebrity Phone Answerer. Hodgman agrees to pick up random calls in the role of a Minor Television Personality. He directs the volunteers to wave him over to congratulate any Mouse pledgers for their generosity.


- Patton Oswalt, the celebrated voice of Reginald the Rat in Ratt! The Story of Ratt and one of the Top 3 stand-up comedians on the planet Earth, takes the microphone after a long day of rehearsals for a venture in the Theatre District of midtown Manhattan. In the tradition of the PSH/JCR role-shifting, 2000 revival of Jack Shephard's True West, Patton will play Pink Ladies leader Betty Rizzo and greaser Danny Zucco on alternating nights in a new production of the beloved musical, Grease. Patton says he spent the day running through "There Are Worse Things I Could Do" with his pitch coach; tomorrow he will work on "Summer Nights" with the actress playing Sandy Olsson. While they continue to break down all the songs, Patton is focusing on the more difficult Rizzo material because it's all flat notes. (In addition to his double duty in Grease, Patton hoped to expand his craft with a part in the Roundabout Theatre Company's revival of Terrence McNally's Lips Together, Teeth Apart. Unfortunately, production was halted and indefinitely postponed after the sudden departure of its female lead.)


Tom says his favorite aspect of the 1978 film version of Grease is that all of Danny's buddies are sweaty dudes pushing 40. He finds it hard to believe that the casting director could not locate any actors in their 20s and sans receding hairlines to portray authentic high schoolers. Patton points out that when the buddies were hanging out near the faculty members the viewer could easily tell that everyone was the same age and not unlike a bunch of aging dockworkers yelling at each other. Tom was pleased that Grease afforded Sid Caesar, who played Coach Calhoun, the chance to flaunt his physical fitness for the 855th time by proudly sporting a shirt that's one size too small. Patton envisions Caesar spouting off about being able to do two dips on the chairs in his hotel rooms without separating his shoulders, evidence that at 71 he will outlive all of his peers.

Patton believes that PBS pledge drive hosts could benefit from adopting some of Tom's enjoyably weird flareups of anger and bile. He imagines buttoned-up Midwesterners exploding to taunt the crumbuns who dared to doubt the renewal of Mystery! with host Alan Cumming. Tom bets that a threat to withhold a James Taylor performance clip would be another surefire wallet-opener. Patton selects an endless loop of the Nova episode about ghost shrimp as a suitable punishment for non-pledging viewers. Tom points out that WFMU tries to do an amped-up version of the normal programming for its marathon, but PBS cracks open the vault to air stuff they never show during the year, such as The Beatles's 1965 rock concert at Shea Stadium. Patton says that PBS seems to sit on some amazing exclusives like the ultra-rare footage of John Lennon touring with Led Zeppelin.

While Tom enjoys the WFMU marathon programs, he laments the lack of rhythm that plagues PBS pledge shows featuring five-minute clips awkwardly mingling with 30 minutes of dry chatter. Patton agrees that it's odd to see the shocking video of Bob Dylan in a knife-fight with a shirtless Lyndon B. Johnson followed by talk of a tote bag featuring art by M.C. Escher or a collection of cat cartoons by artist B. Kliban. Tom gives his pledgers Fun Packs that don't exist anywhere else and will never exist again. You can get all the PBS swag for $15 at Best Buy or by pledging three times the list price on their website.


Tom knows that Patton will not throw anyone from The Brick Wall Brotherhood out the window, but he was not thrilled with the six-hour PBS documentary series, Make 'Em Laugh, hosted by funnyman Billy Crystal, winner of Worst Prosthetic at the 1993 Golden Raspberry Awards for wearing a melty old-man Halloween mask in Mr. Saturday Night. Tom revisits the months leading up to the film's September 1992 release when Crystal let his mind race with thoughts of Oscar and tormented co-star David Paymer with his maniacal enthusiasm. Then the reviews came out and his agent informed him that nobody likes it and it stinks. Patton mentions that plans for the companion book, The Art of Mr. Saturday Night, featuring early sketches of the Buddy Young, Jr. makeup design, were scrapped.

Tom thanks Patton for his support of The Best Show over the past few years. Patton says he parcels out the program when he goes for walks, so he got a lot of exercise during last month's 6-hour blowout. He also reveals that the 2011 Best Show Marathon premium will be Tom Scharpling's Too Hot for WFMU, presumably a collaboration with Tornado Todd's LifeChanges charity. The set will feature three hours of the raunchiest comedic filth you've ever heard and all the bits unfit for broadcast, including guest segments with edgy comics Carlos Mencia, Lisa Lampanelli, and Richard Vos, plus the uncut Matt Walsh interview from two weeks ago.

Tom mentions that one of tonight's prizes is an autographed DVD of last year's feel-good sports film, Big Fan. Patton says that he's pleased with the cover art he designed to establish New York Giants enthusiast Paul Aufiero as the new Rudy Ruettiger or perhaps a lovable shut-in uncle coaching the local Pee Wee football team. Tom and Patton build an alternate story in which a corporate drone who knows nothing about football has to coach a team of kids who are playing the Giants for charity. Since the guy's niece is actually an amazing football prodigy, he suits her up as a boy because there is nothing in the rule book prohibiting the gender bend. Tom says that he and PFT once talked about how The Rule Book would extend to the moon if its pages actually listed everything that you could not do, such as trotting donkeys or horses onto the gridiron. Patton points out that there are no statutes that forbid digging up the corpse of 12th U.S. President Zachary Taylor and putting it in the outfield. He recommends reading Volume 511, subsection "Orangutan," to see if the great apes are allowed to line up as wide receivers.

Week #2 The Mouses That Roared ($365)


- Patrick from Ann Arbor, MI
- Paul in Aalborg, Denmark
- Trey in Waco, TX

[***Still three skids left of Tom's "The Wacko in Waco" single, a fun ode to sect leader David Koresh and his exploding compound. It's a sonic smoothie of Running with Scissors-era "Weird Al" Yankovic and The Toadies's modern rock stomper, "Possum Kingdom," topped with a dollop of Mayo Thompson***]

- Sima in Boston, MA (M+)
- Brent in Grande Prairie, Alberta, Canada
- AP Mike from The Phone Room
- Harold from The Phone Room
- Michael in Livingston, NJ
- Alex in Brooklyn, NY
- Tony in Flagstaff, AZ
- Eric in Boston, MA
- Andy in San Francisco, CA
- Stephen & Jessica in Chicago, IL
- Ben in Jersey City, NJ
- Shane in Santa Monica, CA
- Ryan in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
- William from Waterloo, Ontario, Canada
- Erin in Lakewood, NJ
- Jim in Bevery Hills, CA
- PFT in the LA-X Altiverse (in this reality he works as Chuck Widmore's BBQ Pitmaster)
- Joseph in Jersey City, NJ (M+)
- Paycheque in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Jake in The Phone Room
- Steven in Brooklyn, NY
- Brian Musikoff in Hoboken, NJ
- Colin in Toronto, Ontario, Canada
- Ron in Brooklyn, NY
- Jimmy in Denver, CO
- Dave in Chicago, IL
- Patrick in Brooklyn, NY
- Thomas in the 30 Rock Writer's Room
- Tom in Chicago, IL
- Joshua in Somerville, MA (Murder City!)
- Sean in Studio City, CA
- Matt in Los Angeles, CA
- Thomas in NY, NY
- Dan in North Adams, MA
- Sarah in Brooklyn, NY
- Christopher in NYC
- Jillian Barberie in yr dreams
- Peter in Philadelphia, PA

Y3K ($1,000+)

- Eric from Rockville, MD
- Anonymous (Mouse x 3)
- Jake in NY
- John in Vernon Hills, IL
- Mackro in Seattle, WA (+)
- Forrest in Brooklyn, NY (+)
- Chris in Chicago, IL (dedicated to Roseanne, presumably not Barr)
- Sean in Studio City, CA

Hodgman informs Tom that he was taking a picture of AP Mike blowing Horny for a Mouse Pledge. (Let that sentence sink in for a moment ...) He then requested AP Mike's Twitter handle so he could direct his followers to his profile. Hodgman was dismayed that AP Mike used this friendly moment to confront him about not following his Tweets. Tom says this classless move typifies the low-rent AP Mike, Inc. operation. Hodgman advises AP Mike to think about building a long-term relationship instead of gaining a follower. He dispenses similar advice at social networking seminars across the country. Tom tells Hodgman that AP Mike is suing the makers of The Wrestler for stealing his life story minus all the wrestling stuff to create the Randy "The Ram" Robinson character. Patton asks Mike if his life is like Crazy Heart. Hodgman says the filmmakers ripped off AP Mike's screenplay, Drunk, Sad.


Tom says that Patton and Hodgman are known for a variety of things -- from bon vivantry to voice artistry -- but their mutual love of science-fiction runs through it all. Hodgman prefers the term "speculative fiction." Tom thinks Hodgman just won the contest by unleashing that term, and Patton considers running down the hall in defeat. He compares the verbal attack to Inigo Montoya killing five guys with a single sword stroke. I believe that's a Scarface reference. Hodgman says that he favors the space operas of film and television, while Patton is more into "hard sci-fi." Patton positions himself as the Ben Bova to Hodgman's Alfred Bester. Therese drafted a set of questions using a quill pen on fine vellum. It's time to release the Kraken!

The Clash of the Titans

1. In The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, what is the only profitable division of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation?

Answer: Complaints Division (My guess: Accounts Unreceivable)


2. What Logan's Run actress was omitted from the 2010 Oscars "In Memorium" montage

Answer: Farrah Fawcett (Hodgman)

Hodgman 1, Patton 0

Patton thought it was Jenny Agutter, who played Jessica 6, but then realized that she is alive.

3. In Star Trek: The Next Generation, what name did Jean-Luc Picard take when he assimilated into the Borg?

Tom: Morf. [Incorrect]

Answer: Locutus (Hodgman)

Patton thought it was MC 900 Ft. Jesus. He receives + 0.75 for a "resistance is futile" quip.

Hodgman 2, Patton 0.75

4. On Dr. Who, how many times can a Time Lord regenerate?

Answer: 12 (Patton)

Hodgman 2, Patton 1.75

5. What does TARDIS stand for?

Answer: Time And Relative Dimension(s) In Space (tie, 0.5 pt each)

Hodgman 2.5, Patton 2.25


6. (Asked by Tom) At what point did you realize that you had to get out on a Saturday at 6 p.m. and start hanging out with your friends rather than watching Dr. Who on Channel 13?"

Hodgman: Tomorrow


7. In The X-Files, who played Jose Chung in the episode, "Jose Chung's From Outer Space"?

Answer: Charles Nelson Reilly (Patton)

Patton 3.25, Hodgman 2.5

8. Who is C.G.B. Spender better known as?

Answer: Cigarette-Smoking Man (Hodgman with hint, 0.25 points)

Patton guessed Fluke Man.

Patton 3.25, Hodgman 2.75

9. In Star Wars, what was the name of Boba Fett's ship?

Answer: Slave 1 (tie, 1 point each)

Patton 4.25, Hodgman 3.75

10. What was the name of Lando Calrissian's majordomo?

Answer: Lobot (tie, 1 point each)

Patton 5.25, Hodgman 4.75

11. From whom did Jabba the Hutt acquire his palace?

Answer: B'omarr4life Monks


[Therese hands out blue books for the essay portion.]


12. Speculatively speaking, what would happen if Daniel Graystone (from Caprica) had access to the Dollhouse's imprinting technology?

Answer: He could imprint the soul of his dead daughter (Zoe) onto a living human being and actually bring her back in the flesh instead of unknowingly having her inside a U-87 robot unit. (Patton)

Hodgman points out that Patton is a member of the cast of Dollhouse. He played Internet mogul and Dollhouse client Joel Mynor in two episodes. Hodgman is waiting for The Invention of Lying trivia.



13. (Asked by Tom) In Mac vs. PC World, if you were to run forward, would the thing spin around and show all the other stuff on the other side? Like what's on the other side? Is it just that white horizon?

Hodgman cites Tom's frantic tone as evidence of an in-progress aneurysm. Tom admits that he is no longer aware of his surroundings. Patton informs Tom that the commercials are not shot inside a THX-1138 jail. Hodgman confirms that it's an open, fully explorable world. Patton lobbies for a Mac vs. PC cameo from a bald Robert Duvall, reprising his titular role in Lucas's dystopian debut. Hodgman says Bobby frequently appears on set to make crab cakes and just do his THX-1138 thing.


14. Why don't we have jet packs yet?

Hodgman: Because we value the bottom halves of our bodies and don't want to immolate them.

Patton: Because of the obesity "emidemic."

Hodgman gets 1 point due to Patton's mispronunciation.

Hodgman 5.75, Patton 5.25

15. Is Ghostbusters III a good idea?

Hodgman: I don't think so.
Patton: No.

Despite his concerns about the project, Hodgman says he is looking forward to all the product placement for Crystal Head Vodka, Dan Akroyd's spirit of choice. Patton express an interest in seeing how golf is integrated into the plot. Tom suspects that craftsman will have to reinforce the fireman's pole due to plumper performers, not including the immortal and fit Ernie Hudson, who can still shimmy in style. Tom refers to him by the abbreviated nickname, E-Hu.


Pic: emilymemory.

16. List three roles played by Majel Barett in the Star Trek universe.

- Voices of onboard computers of Federation starships (Hodgman)
- Nurse Christine Chapel (tie)
- Lwaxana Troi (mother of Deanna Troi) (Hodgman)

Hodgman WINS 6.75 to 5.25. He showed his Ma that he is indeed the Televised Speculative Fiction Division CHAMPION, didn't he?

Week #2 Prize Wall ($15+)


1. Dennis Diken with Bell Sound - Late Music CD [Winner: Gina in Howell, NJ]
2. Mission of Burma - The Sound The Speed The Light CD [Winner: Michael in San Antonio, TX]
3. Biz Markie - Biz's Baddest Beats and Videos [Winner: Corey in Iowa City, IA (from Slipknot/Stone Sour?!)]
4. Bernard Purdie - Soul Drums Deluxe Edition reissue CD [Winner: Adam in Toronto, Canada]
5. Iron Maiden - Flight 666 DVD [Winner: Unguent in Christchurch, New Zealand]
6. Kurt Vile - Constant Hitmaker LP (signed by Kurt Vile) [Winner: Stephen & Jessica in Chicago, IL]
7. CocoComa - CD [Winner: Joseph in Chicago, IL]
8. Jay Reatard (RIP) - Watch Me Fall CD [Winner: Jennifer in Chicago, IL]
9. Sam Seder DVD Fun Pack ft. Who's the Caboose and Pilot Season [Winner: David in Verona, NJ]
10. F'd Up - Couple Tracks: Singles 2002-2009 2xLP (signed by Damian "Pink Eyes" Abraham) [Winner: Chris in LA, CA]
11. Patton Oswalt - My Weakness Is Strong CD/DVD [Winner: Chris in NYC]
12. Big Fan DVD (signed by star Patton Oswalt) [Winner: Graham in Portland Oregon]
13. Black Hollies - Softly Towards The Light CD [Winner: Sean in West Hollywood, CA]
14. Thee Oh Sees - Help CD [Winner: Megan in Chicago, IL]
15. Times New Viking - Born Again Revisited CD [Winner: Steve in Sterling Heights, MI]
16. Condo Bleeps - Bleepbook CD [Winner: Ali and Ben in Brooklyn, NY]
17. Kurt Vile - Childish Prodigy CD [Winner: Bryce in Denton, TX (Hail Satan!)]
18. The Obits - I Blame You CD [Winner: Lance in Carmel, CA]

Countries/Commonwealths Captured (Week #1 and #2)

New Zealand
Puerto Rico

States Secured (Week #1 and #2)


Grand Prizes


1. The complete Monty Python DVD set autographed by Terry Gilliam. (via Ken Plume)

Winner: Nick in San Francisco, CA

2. The Misfits four-disc box set in the shape of a coffin! Retire to your bedroom, slip on your jammies, crack open a cold beer, and unwind from a hard day at work just like this fudge-lovin' munchy-munch.

Winner: Christina in Chicago, IL

3. Boston Spaceships Super Set featuring vinyl editions of long-players Brown Submarine, Planets are Blasted, Zero to 99, the OOP "Headache Revolution" 7", the double-vinyl Licking Stamps And Drinking Shitty Coffee - Boston Spaceships Live in Atlanta w/ CD-R, a limited edition, full-color Boston Spaceships "Beer Abduction" block print by Sean Starwars, and one of only five test pressings of the forthcoming "Camera Found The Raygun" 7". (via Chris Slusarenko)

Winner: Christopher in Los Angeles, CA



2-week total: ~$154,958



Closing Song

Tom Scharpling & Friends - "Atlantis" (Donovan cover)


Take Tom's hand, and you'll make it, I swear ...