Knee Deep in the Hoopla.
"Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead. Dead!" -- Tom, eulogizing the eerily silent phones at the start of his supposed Moment of Triumph
"So we got ... uh ... her, him, that dude, her, the other one." -- Tom, vaguely introducing his Phone Room volunteers
"I'm pledging to support Tom's 2010 campaign to reduce chumps to a blanket of ash, bag that ash, bag that bag, bag that bag, bag that bag, and then barge the quad-bagged chump ashes." -- Omar the (occasional) Scrivener, cleaning up Keith Kincaid-style
"We've got some Primary Colors money in the mix now!" -- Tom, celebrating an Anonymous pledge
"I think of it as my ...... my ...... it's my Contra." -- Musical guest Ted Leo, comparing The Brutalist Bricks to the sophomore effort from indie worldbeaters Vampire Weekend
"You're the kind of guy Agnew got mad at. The eggheads." -- Tom, criticizing a young man for a convoluted pledge comment about tax-exempt donations
"Wait 'til I tell this Terre T chick that her show's being sponsored by Skoal." -- Shout! Radio's Ron Jacobs, lining up corporate sponsors for WFMU programs that make the cut
"Wait 'til you get fitted for your leash. He's gonna lead you around the studio. You're gonna hate it. And we're gonna love it." -- Ron Jacobs, previewing the power dynamics in the new Micky and The Monster radio duo
"Come on. You're a grown man. Do a grown man thing." -- AP Mike, begging Fredericks to part with some of his New Port Richey riches
"It's not goofy. It keeps my head warm. You know what else keeps me warm? Weed." -- Bryce Prefontaine, defending the functionality of his eccentric headgear and beloved herb
"I didn't think we had to because I thought this was just a run-through for next year." -- Bryce, explaining his failure to document any of the pertinent pledge particulars when picking up the phones
"I don't really care much for the show, but good luck anyway." -- Yo La Tengo's James McNew, dropping a Mouse+ pledge for the hell of it
"Kevin Durant out for the season with a viscous nose bleed." -- Jacob from Boston, teasing Tom about fontasy basketball (not cool!)
"I will try my best to stop eating fudge on the air, but this fudge is so good." -- Tom, indulging his craving for the Fudge Tub's finest
"In another era you would have been on The Uncle Floyd Show." -- Tom, putting AP Mike and Horny, his Mouse Pledge noisemaking necklace, in historical perspective
"Hey Bryce, did you say that you had some lip balm I could borrow? Cool." -- Ted Leo, relaxing after a night of top-notch acoustic rocking
Strong Arm Steady (ft. Sick Jacken & Mitchy Slick) - "Pressure"
( Click here to buy In Search of Stoney Jackson)
Funeral Oration - "Motherlode"
( Click here to grab the 1983-1985 motherlode)
Quasi - "Little White Horse"
( Click here to buy American Gong)
Eddy Current Suppression Ring - "I've Got A Feeling"
( Click here to buy Rush To Relax)
Robert Pollard - "Post-Hydrate Update"
( Click here to buy We All Got Out of the Army)
Crusaders of Love - "Can't Get Enough"
( Click here to buy Never Grow Up)
The Strand - "One More Ring"
( Click here to acquire Seconds Waiting)
So Cow - "Exclamation Mark"
( Click here to buy So Cow)
Now is the time for us to gather together and celebrate those things that we like and think are fun and pledge:
It's time for you to call. It's time for you to Step Up. It's time for you to ... TESTIFY! Yes, Week 1 of the 2010 The Best Show on WFMU Marathon is here. Host Tom Scharpling can't believe that the phones are dead. He's so tired of being lonely, and he's sickened by the lack of love. Captain NJ didn't gas up the Munchmobile for this s-hit. Tom asks Associate Producer Mike to get the copy of Miles Davis's Pangaea from the record library to fill the void of an early departure. He refuses to abide by a phone room playing Tiddlywinks instead of logging pledges. Tom doesn't want the volunteers reminiscing and chit-chatting like it's a class reunion mixer. This is Action Time. The Tommy Gun is loaded and ready to fire some flagrant artillery rounds. The chumps are on the run, and they are going to pay for their chumpish ways.
Tom reminds everyone that after 50 weeks of FUN, WFMU must conduct a mere two weeks of FUNdraising to reach their goal of $1,200,000. The station relies on the generosity of listeners because it doesn't accept any silly government grants or corporate sponsorship from the filth-laden Larry Flynt Publications, KernCo's Man-Made Muck®, Jack LaLanne's Power Juicer empire, Pillsbury, Los Pollos Hermanos restaurants, Brad Benson Autogroup, or Mennen. The mission is clear: Tom wants everyone to help him strike a blow for the Good Guys. He points out that the difference between a chump and a champ is just one letter: u. If you replace that "u" with an "a," then the word "chump" becomes the much more desirable "champ." Tom hopes to deliver this requiem for the chumps in the next three hours. Won't you show him that you really care?
Co-host: DJ Hatch
Special Musical Guest: Activist/songwriter Ted F. Leo (sans the 23rd incarnation of his ragtag pick-up band! He found new touring keyboardist Sergeant Pepperoni last week on Craigslist. Sgt. Pepp performs in rain galoshes, camouflage cargo shorts, a throwback Antoine Carr Atlanta Hawks jersey, and a sequined military police visor hat.)
Sound Engineer: Glenn Luttman
Week #1 Apron-Clad Phone Room Volunteers
A combination of the greatest people Tom's ever met and people who scare him.
- DJ Terre T (Shout! Radio's new smokeless tobacco pitchwoman)
- DJ Therese (co-host of WFMU's Depravity's Rainbow with Mike & Therese)
- Sparkiepop (currently ranked #6 air hockey player in metro Los Angeles per Perforated Playfields Thrice-Yearly. #1? Christopher Mise-en-place.)
- Matthew Perpetua (inventore of the music-based weblog)
- David the Intern
- Auntie Christina
- AP Mike (frequently hunched over like Quasimodo -- Vic Hugo's deformed bell ringer not Madlib's alter-ego -- with Horny dangling from his neck)
- Paloma (Pledge Card Wrangler)
The 2010 Best Show on WFMU Chump Steamroller Fun Pack ($75)
1. Fantasia in Best Show Minor DVD
Tom cashed all his chips for the work of his life. He had a bucket full of chips and now that bucket is empty. He's chip-free. The first-ever Best Show DVD will feature the usual doses of mirth, music, and mayhem with contributions from Patton Oswalt, Ted Leo, comedienne Paul F. Tompkins, F'd Up, Tim & Eric, John Hodgman, Aimee Mann (performing Ice-T's "6 'n the Mornin'"), Yo La Tengo, Kurt Vile, Matt Fraction, Dave Willis, Todd Barry, S&W, Jason Woliner, and Boston Spaceships. PLUS: travelogues by Fredericks (New Port Richey, FL), Julie (Cincinnati, OH), AP Mike (the bowels of Bayonne, NJ), and (possibly) Spike (a vacation to Washington, D.C.).
There will be puppets. There will be animations. And I hope there will be lots of two-minute making-of featurettes, Spanish subtitles, and a setup option for Dolby 2.0.
2. Set of Best Show Trading Cards
3. The Best Show Bumper Sticker
Stick it on your car. Right next to your Mondale/Ferrari '84, "Peeing Calvin," and Disturbed decals!
ALSO: A $1,000 pledge gets you a personalized Special Bonus Pack from Tom! (It'll probably be fresh cut fudge cheese, Dokken's Breaking The Chains on CASSette, and the new Criterion Blu-ray edition of Fishing with Dorf.)
Ted Leo Set #1
1. Ted Leo - "The Mighty Sparrow"
2. Ted Leo - "One Polaroid A Day"
3. Ted Leo - "Bottled in Cork" [first-ever acoustic performance]
All selections from the hott new TLRx album, available for purchase at your favorite online and brutalist brick-and-mortar music retailers. I got mine in longbox format at Camelot Music in the mall.
- Tom notices a man hovering in the background and not working the phones. He approaches the microphone and introduces himself to "Tim" as Ron Jacobs from the Shout! Radio Network. Tom has not heard of this organization. Jacobs correctly assumes that Tom is familiar with Shout!'s TV division, known for its eccentric programming lineup under the stewardship of Matthew Thompkins, who returned to the network in 2008 after a tumultuous stint at ABC. He bets that Tom's favorite Shout! skein is the controversial The Reggae Kid, which many viewers rejected for being offensive and exploiting its young star. Tom says he used to like that show a lot, but he's currently into Celebrity Buried Alive. He couldn't believe the scary episode where producers buried a living Tony Randall, Jr. Jacobs says it was very sad when the little guy didn't emerge from his grave. He informs Tom that Randall, Jr. was only 4' 8", which some people cite as the funniest possible height.
Tom wants to hear more about Shout!'s latest media venture. Jacobs doubts that he will ever gain first-hand knowledge of the radio operation. He refers to Tom as "Timmy" because his notes identify the host as a man named Tim Shipley. Jacobs starts to correct the error, but he quickly decides not to care. He says that he flew in today from La to conduct some evaluations for the home office. Shout! Radio management will review his findings and then determine who will stay and who will get canned when WFMU doesn't hit their financial goal. Tom thinks this potential reorganization is a horrible development. Jacobs warns that the phone silence is not a good sign for The Best Show's future. He urges Tom to step it up and prove that he is worth keeping post-marathon. Tom doesn't know why a decade-plus veteran would have to prove anything to the upstart Shout! Radio. Jacobs reminds him that once WFMU is folded into Shout!, they will reassess all the existing DJs.
Jacobs reviews his checklist and discovers that Tom has not pimped any products or mentioned any corporate sponsors in the first hour. Tom explains that the station is fully supported by listeners. Jacobs believes this is a problem. He tells Tom that he can probably line up some great sponsors, including pretty much any vodka or rifle company. Tom declines to align himself with alcohol or firearms. Jacobs says he's been texting with the head of Remington about the potential campaign. He also can't wait to inform DJ Terre T that the Cherry Blossom Clinic, which currently airs every Saturday from 3 p.m. to 6 p.m., will be sponsored by Skoal. DJ Terre T immediately nixes the idea of mixing her expertly curated sets of rock music with advertisements for smokeless tobacco. Jacobs inquires about DJ Terre T's overall story and relationship status. Tom doesn't like it. DJ Terre T tells Jacobs that she is celibate. Just like Lady Gaga!
Jacobs reports that the one thing Shout! loves about Tim is his penchant for yelling on the air. Tom is reluctant to accept the compliment because that's the one thing he would like to tone down. Jacobs wants Tom to increase his outbursts because he will be rebranded as "Dr. Unhinged, The Push-Up Machine" if he makes the cut. Tom asks Jacobs what this new character would entail. Jacobs says Tom would yell per usual and then do 150 push-ups for every completed rant. He orders Tom to drop and do 75 right now. Tom says he doesn't have time for impromptu exercise drills during a chaotic marathon show. Jacobs senses that Tom doesn't like his new name. He proposes some alternates: Dash Millions, Thor Goldbody, Ramrod McDougal, Chief Kildare, Gordy Bullions, and Bronson Charles. Tom realizes that the last option is simply Charles Bronson reversed. Jacobs doesn't know who that is. Tom says that Bronson is the actor who starred in Death Wish. Jacobs initially thinks that Tom has a death wish before considering that he was referencing The Police song from Reggata de Blanc.
Tom is not crazy about any of the other names, but he would opt for Chief Kildare from that batch. Jacobs wants to get a feel for Tom's show with a one-minute sample. Tom starts an introduction, but Jacobs gives him the buzzer sound after the word "Hey." He hopes that the voice he's hearing is not the voice going out over the airwaves. Tom confirms that Jacobs is hearing the broadcast. Jacobs says he sounds like a child and wants to know where it is. He knows that Tom has one if he's on the radio with that voice. Tom denies using any voice modulation equipment. Jacobs doesn't think a profusely sweating Tom can pull off a show by himself because nobody is calling. He considers this installment such a sad, sick spectacle that he comes up with another new moniker: Dr. Sad and Sick, the sickest, saddest DJ. He envisions people flocking to the studio to throw stuff at this sicko. Tom doesn't like this idea; Jacobs loves it. He thinks it's obvious that Tom needs a sidekick. Jacobs predicts that Tom will be on his knees thanking him when the ratings book comes in for the first week of Micky and The Monster.
Jacobs says that Tom will become the toady for his new boss, who is the greatest entertainer of all-time, the nicest man he's ever met, and the best drummer he's ever met. Tom asks Jacobs to unveil his impressive partner. It's Micky Dolenz from The Monkees. Tom can't believe that Dolenz will serve as his sidekick. Jacobs laughs because Tom will be his sycophantic sidekick. He calls Tom a munch for thinking otherwise. Tom asserts his right to call the shots on his own program. Jacobs repeats the name of the duo: Micky and The Monster. Tom is The Monster. Jacobs is eagerly anticipating Tom's first leash fitting and the subsequent scene of Dolenz leading him around the studio like an animal. He's sure that Tom will hate it as much as Shout! will love it. Tom insists that the show will never happen. Jacobs disagrees.
Tom paints a picture of Jacobs for listeners: slick suit and sporting shades indoors after 9 p.m. Jacobs says he needs the protective eyewear to combat the flash of cameras snapping his picture. He says it's like Corey Haim [RIP] sang, "I need something on my face ..." Tom believes that was a different Corey. Jacobs is pretty sure it's not Corey Steubling. He asks Tom if he's thinking of Rockwell, the R&B performer who landed a Top 10 hit in 1984 with "Somebody's Watching Me," which features vocalists Michael and Jermaine Jackson. It appears that Jacobs was attempting to reference "Sunglasses at Night" by Canadian pop-rocker Corey Hart. Jacobs points out that Tom failed to touch on one key aspect of his appearance. Tom mentions the American flag pin on his lapel. Jacobs corrects Timmy: he has two pins, one on each lapel. Jacobs says the doubling up earned him a victory in a Patriot-Off while visiting the offices of EIB, home of The Rush Limbaugh Show. He defeated Rich, a Limbaugh minion who only sported one patriotic pin. Jacobs concludes that Tom is not a Proud Patriot and calls him a pig for not wearing an American flag lapel pin.
Jacobs says that Dolenz had the most negative visceral response he's ever observed by a human when confronted with a description of Tom. President Obama was hanging out with them at the time and had the same reaction. Jacobs references Obama's beer drinking at the summit to ease tensions between the guy who was mad at the other guy. He says that Vice-President Joe Vitaman, King Vitaman's son, was also in attendance. Tom questions this father-son combo, and Jacobs recommends a return to History class. Jacobs was referring to the 7/30/09 White House Rose Garden chat with Harvard professor Louis Gossett, Jr. and overzealous Cambridge, MA, Police Sgt. Aleister Crowley. The two men were previously embroiled in a heated dispute about the mounting height of Gossett Jr's garden hose and the "shoddy" edgework on his lawn.
The unlikely trio of Jacobs, Obama, and Dolenz convened at Irving Plaza in NYC for a Cheap Trick sneak show. After hearing Jacobs talk about Tom, Dolenz recalled the one time in his entire life that he got mad. While relaxing at a tennis match, a drooling creature -- half ape/part party machine -- attacked him. Dolenz told Jacobs that the ape-man was similar to Tom. He then said, "Eeh!," a frequent Dolenz catchphrase spouted with a James Cagney lilt. Tom is not surprised to hear this. He says that he's a fan of Obama, but not Dolenz.
Jacobs doesn't know who that Ted Leo was, but he's pleased to see some heat for next week in Tom's notepad. He congratulates him for booking the guy from Twilight, Patton Oswald. Tom says the actor Robert Pattinson actually plays vampire heartthrob Ed Cullen. Jacobs is not impressed with the non-vampire Oswald. He tells Timmy that he needs to take a breather, "if you know what I mean." Tom does not approve of Jacobs doing cocaine during the show. Jacobs tells Tom to refrain from mentioning narcotics because his mom might be listening. He concludes that she's probably not tuning in because she prefers good radio. Tom assumes that Jacobs will resume hovering. Jacobs confirms that he is known as "The Chipotle Hoverer." He notes the phone silence and reveals that there are a lot of check marks in the "Fail" column on his scoresheet. Tom thanks him for his time.
Ted Leo Set #2
- A familiar voice chirps up in the background: "What's goin' on in here?" Tom spots a man wearing a giant, full-screen Jerry Garcia t-shirt and a goofy ear-flap knit hat. Yes, it's Newbridge's very own Bryce Prefontaine, everyone's favorite My Name Is Earl enthusiast and crippler connoisseur. Bryce says that the hat keeps him warm, as does smoking weed. He's a little upset because he got kicked out of the Phone Room by a lady named Dawn and another lady named Therese. Bryce says he was taking calls, but not writing down any names or donation amounts. Tom explains that this documentation is the primary duty of a marathon phone volunteer. Bryce says he skipped that step because he thought this was just a practice run for the 2011 WFMU Marathon. Tom doesn't know why Bryce would think that. Bryce answers by doing a practice hit on a finger-shaped one-hitter wrapped around his pinky. Tom assumes that this mini-pipe gets pretty hot. Bryce says it burns him a lot, but it's worth it because he gets high when he fires it up.
Bryce asks Ted Leo to identify himself. He notices his guitar and asks Tom if he knows who else played that instrument. Tom surprises Bryce by selecting Jerry Garcia as a fellow axeman. He informs Bryce that he's heard Garcia's playing in some Grateful Dead songs. Bryce asks Ted if he knows anything by any other Bay Area bands like Jefferson Airplane. Ted disappoints Bryce with this gap in his musical repertoire. Bryce strikes out again with Jefferson Starship, but Ted does remember one Starship tune he can play. Bryce guesses that it's "Jane," "Find Your Way Back," or "Ride the Tiger." Ted says it is not any of those. Tom sings a bit of the latter song's chorus, and Bryce asks him if he knows what that's about. He then makes a horrible gesture presumably indicating some form of lovemaking. Tom is glad he's on the radio. Bryce celebrates the offense by emitting some disturbing laughter. He asks Ted if it's any track from Freedom at Point Zero, Spitfire, Red Octopus, Winds of Change, or Knee Deep in the Hoopla. Ted reveals that it does appear on Hoopla. Bryce asks him if it's "Sara," "Tomorrow Doesn't Matter Tonight," "Desperate Heart," "Private Room," "Before I Go," or "Hearts of the World (Will Understand)." He can't think of anything else from the album. Ted thinks Bryce will recognize the tune when he starts playing it. Bryce gives Ted the greenlight to give it a shot. In the meantime, he does two more finger hits.
Ted Leo Set #3
1. Ted Leo & Bryce Prefontaine - "We Built This City" (Starship Cover)
After the song Ted asks Bryce if he can sample his weed. Bryce agrees to share and also offers Ted his Jerry t-shirt for a more complete experience. Tom says that it was awesome, but Bryce doesn't know what it is. Tom clarifies that he was referring to the quality of the Starship cover. Bryce believes that he and Ted are going to sing it now. He is saddened by his short-term memory loss: "Oh, man ..." Tom reports that renowned musicologist Andy Zax noted Bryce's omission of "Stairway to Cleveland (We Do What We Want)" from Modern Times. Bryce doesn't know that one, but he might have it back at his lean-to. While his housing situation remains difficult, he does have one thing that makes him feel better. Tom guesses weed. He's right. Bryce and Ted leave the studio to go smoke out at a time when the Phone Room is knee deep in a lull. Hatch says it's like a cemetery. Tom compares the chilly silence to a morgoo.
- Ron Jacobs calls to let Tim know that one thing led to another and he hooked up with one of the call takers. He's back at the W Hotel in Manhattan (don't ask doing what) and decided to give Tom another week to prove himself to Shout! Radio. Tom sort of thanks him for the reprieve. Jacobs wishes Timmy good luck. OUT.
Miscreants Mentioned By Tom During This Show
2. Robert Chambers [Offenses: Preppie dresser, including but not limited to Ray-Ban Wayfarer® sunglasses with Croakies® brand retainers, plead guilty to first degree manslaughter, and numerous drug arrests]
Week #1 Prize Wall ($15+)
1. Yo La Tengo - Popular Songs CD [Winner: Andrew from Etters, PA]
2. Gonerfest IV DVD [Winner: Katie in Oakland, CA]
3. Coco Coma - Things Are Not All Right CD [Winner: Timothy in Brooklyn, NY]
4. J Dilla - Jay Stay Paid CD [Winner: Dave from Berlin, Germany]
5. Pavement - Brighten The Corners: Nicene Creedence Edition 2xCD [Winner: Matthew in Columbus, OH]
6. DC Snipers - DC Snipers LP (OOP!) [Winner: John from Elkins Park, PA]
7. John Hodgman/PFT 2-pack, More Information Than You Require / Impersonal
Winner: Jay from Seattle, WA]
8. TV Ghost - Cold Fish CD [Winner: Dan from Meriden, CT]
9. The King Khan & BBQ Show - Invisible Girl CD [Winner: Chris from Forest Park, IL]
10. Kool G Rap & DJ Polo - Road to the Riches reissue CD [Winner: Jeff in Maplewood, NJ ]
11. Reigning Sound - Love and Curses [Winner: Eric from Encino, CA]
12. You're Gonna Miss Me : A Film About Roky Erickson DVD [Winner: Brett from Landing, NJ]
13. Bob Mould Band - Live at ATP 2008 CD [Winner: Tim from Milwaukee, WI]
14. Fucked Up - Year of the Pig CD [Winner: Rich from Los Angeles, CA]
15. 2131 South Michigan Avenue: 60's Garage And Psychedelia From USA And Destination Records 2xCD [Winner: Charlie from Hollywood, FL]
16. Goner Records 4-CD Pack ft. Eddy Current Suppression Ring, Ty Segall, Overnight Lows, and Box Elders [Winner: Daniel from Ogdensburg, NJ]
Week #1 Mouse Attack ($365)
- Scott from Seattle, WA
- Brian from Columbus, Ohio
- Jeffrey from Astoria, Queens, NY
- Christina from Brooklyn, NY
- Patton Oswalt from New Alderaan (M+)
- Chris from Oxford, PA
- Kristin from Bridgeport, CT
- Andrew from Baltimore, MD
- Edward from Brooklyn, NY
- Chris S. from Portland, OR
- Campbell from Fitzroy North, Victoria, Australia
- John from Durham, NC
- Tim from Richland, WA
- Michael from Brooklyn, NY
- Wesley from Seffner, FL
- Ryan from Jersey City, NJ
- Christopher from Cranston, RI
- Chad from Eugene, OR
- Stephen from Oshkosh, WI
- Marcus from D.C.
- Stuart from Brentwood, TN
- Nicole Lang + Count Violence in Brooklyn, NY
- Martin in Malmö, Sweden
- Sean from Wheeling, WV
- Bill and Susannah from Beverly Hills, CA
- David from Cleveland Heights, OH
- James McNew from Yo La Tengo
- Christina from Maspeth, Queens, NY
- Josh from Pleasantville, NJ
- Alec from Canton, MI
- Rich from Brooklyn, NY
- Alan from Wantagh, NY
- Charlie from Prescott, AZ (home of Hatch!)
- Anthony from San Francisco, CA
- The Crime Dog in NY
- Erlin from Oslo, Norway
- Chris and Bethany from NYC
- Mel from Honolulu, HI
- Brian from Metuchen, NJ
- Maggie from Chicago, IL
- Pete in Brooklyn, NY
- PFT in Weird-O-Wood
- Phil from Hove, Eng-uh-lund
- Matt Fraction in Portland, OR
- Michael from Rochester, NY
- Mahmood from Chicago, IL
- Cheryl from Athens, GA
- Scott from Village, OK
- Jeffrey from Atlanta, GA
1. [adult swim] pack ft. Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law, Moral Orel, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, Tim & Eric's Awesome Record, Great Songs CD, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters Colon the Soundtrack CD, and Carl Brutananadilewski Russian nesting doll.
Winner: David from Burlingame, CA
2. The Onion book pack ft. Our Front Pages: 21 Years of Greatness, Virtue, and Moral Rectitude from America's Finest News Source, Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth, Our Dumb Century: The Onion Presents 100 Years of Headlines from America's Finest News Source, and Inventory: 16 Films Featuring Manic Pixie Dream Girls, 10 Great Songs Nearly Ruined By Saxophone, And 100 More Obsessively Specific Pop-Culture Lists.
Winner: Robert in Chicago, IL
Ted Leo (ft. Tom Scharpling, Bryce, AP Mike, DJ Terre T) - "Handle With Care" (Nem Travelin' Wilburys cover)
Week 1 Total
Best Show Boombayay!
On the Next ... The Best Show on WFMU: Tom doesn't think about it. Tom doesn't talk about it. He just does it one more time to retain his marathon crown.
For Mr. Zax: