The Needle and the Damage Done.
Dear Courageous Congressmen,
I am writing to salute your work in investigating whether or not Roger Clemens attended a party at the home of Jose Canseco 10 years ago. If it's not too much trouble, please send me an autographed, glossy photo of one of Mr. Clemens's alleged steroid-induced buttock abscesses. I want to hang it in my home gymnasium.
I look forward to Mr. Specter's upcoming hearings on whether or not that sad, hoodie-crazed ape spied on the Rams before that Super Bowl.