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This is a little bit salty?

I was in the 7th grade and my sister was in the 3rd. You know how sometimes the skin on the bottom of your foot will start to peel off? And it's pretty addictive to go for the biggest one-piece peels you can get? So I peeled off a bunch of my foot skin, got it wet, and balled it up. When it dried, I gave it to my sister and told her that it was delicious rock candy (a treat we'd heard about but never acquired). She ate it and tried to act like she liked it.

[more like this.]


In the early 1980s, I set my neighbor -- an odd Czech named Petr -- on fire after he stole some of my baseball cards. I was particulary enraged by his theft of a 1982 Topps Reggie Jackson that I needed to complete the set.

I also bulldozed my house after my sister ate the last cherry Italian ice, leaving only the less-desirable lemon.

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