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"Handbags & Gladrags" stomps instrumental nothingness.

Time to put your UK v US The Office dream team together. Blah blah blah about how they're two different shows, the US series length and open-endedness have potentially given it an unfair advantage, you saw the UK first and will always like it better, etc. Just pick characters and be done with it. The rules are such that you must go half UK and half US. No fair just picking mostly UK characters. Here are my picks:

David Brent | Michael Scott
Easy one. Scott's just an a-hole. Brent has A soul. Mrs. Amount goes Scott just because she'd rather just hate a straight-up jerk than get all squeamish when an unknowing jerk repeatedly fails.

Gareth Keenan | Dwight Schrute
Another easy one. Brent/Keenan is one of the all-time classic comedy duos. This is another case of no soul in the US. And Shrute's kinda scary creepy, where Keenan is harmlessly oddball.

Dawn Tinsley | Pam Beesly
Tricky, but Dawn wins on accent, [realistically extra] weight, and the fact that Pam plays to the camera a bit too much.

Tim Canterbury | Jim Halpert
Another tricky one, but the half and half rules are the rules, and since the Jim/Tim character is the one we're supposed to relate to, Jim is easier to match up with.

Keith Bishop | Kevin Malone
This one is straight up rules. Keith eating a scotch egg trumps Kevin's hilariously demented grin. But I couldn't sacrifice Dawn for Keith.

Chris "Finchy" Finch | Todd "Pac Man" Packer
No problem here really. Half the time I needed subtitles to understand a quarter of what Finchy was going on about, and I'd watch Koechner goofy it up ANY time. He's an effing comedy COWBOY.

Comments

David Brent | Michael Scott
As x said, easy one, esp. when you factor in s2/Christmas Special Brent. You weep for Brent when you realize that W-H is all he has (the entire series explodes on "Don't make me redundant") and then you cheer for him when he tells Finchy to F off and you wonder how that date where he's gonna try that Thai food is gonna go and you hope it goes well.

Gareth Keenan | Dwight Schrute
As x said, another easy one. You must have the dynamic duo.

Dawn Tinsley | Pam Beesly
I want to work with Pam Beesly. Bonus: real-life Pam's husband wrote the screenplay for the 2004 Dawn of the Dead remake and that thing kicked ass.

Tim Canterbury | Jim Halpert
Close call, but Tim gets it due to higher awesomeness factor of Marty Freeman. A plus for real-life Jim: he's adapting Brief Interviews with Hideous Men for the big screen (good luck with THAT).

Keith Bishop | Kevin Malone
Rules = rules. I mean really: demented grin vs. scotch egg, minge, the performance review, the Ali G get-up? Another good Kevin moment: the s1 basketball game where nobody wanted Fatty, but then he was a post-match swish machine.

Chris "Finchy" Finch | Todd "Pac Man" Packer
Rules = rules. I prefer Finchy's seemingly-legit dementia (esp. after 4 pints) and garbled Britspeak to the cowboy cartooning of the Pac Man, but the Dream Team is good enough to deal with the guy.

David Brent | Michael Scott
Interesting tidbit from the US Season 1 DVD commentary: Ricky & Steve always envisoned Brent as more of a jerk than he came off as, and requested that they take Michael Scott in that direction for the US version.

Gareth Keenan | Dwight Shrute
Although there are some great Dwight deleted scenes on the US DVD. [Amazon]

Dawn Tinsley | Pam Beesly
I have a huge crush on Pam (or Jenna Fischer).

Tim Canterbury | Jim Halpert
Total toss-up.

Keith Bishop | Kevin Malone
The face kills me every single time. His behind-the-scenes basketball story is almost the same as what was put on the show. He told everyone that he was good at basketball, but no one really believed him. Then during a break in shooting he starts making every shot. They cut the scene they used down from a string of 14 straight made baskets.

Chris "Finchy" Finch | Todd "Pac Man" Packer
"Half the time I needed subtitles to understand a quarter of what Finchy was going on about." - So you don't understand an eighth of what he says?
My knees hurt.
Nearly done luv.

Jennifer Taylor-Clarke | Jan Levinson-Gould
I hope they keep mining the drunken one-night-stand.

Lee | Roy
Do either of them have a last name? I don't know that I have a preference, but I have to go with the UK to balance.

Are they going to unleash the American Neil this season? s3? It will be hard to top Patrick Baladi's UK work.

David Brent | Michael Scott
This is the one case where I have to give it up for the classic. Michael Scott is great in his own right, but Brent is an ideal comic creation.

Gareth Keenan | Dwight Shrute
Total draw, if I HAD to pick, I guess it would be Dwight, but it's painful. I love them both so much.

Tim Canterbury | Jim Halpert
I love Jim, but I just really like Martin Freeman.

Dawn Tinsley | Pam Beesly
This is sort of no-contest - Pam is much funnier.

Keith Bishop | Kevin Malone
That grin!

Jennifer Taylor-Clarke | Jan Levinson-Gould
This one is also no-contest - they've done much better things with Jan.

Chris "Finchy" Finch | Todd "Pac Man" Packer
I haven't really warmed up to the Pac Man.

Lee | Roy
Also no contest - Lee gets the point across, whereas Roy is almost too sympathetic with his dorky fantasy football.

Gervais can't make up his mind about his own list and has started messing with a dream team writing staff.

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