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We Jam Econo.

ALTERNATE SUBJECT LINES
FOR RECIDIVISM'S POST ON
THE 12/13/05 BEST SHOW ON WFMU

BY OMAR


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Sing Me Spanish Psych
Happiness
Get outta my mall
Cinnabon Gimp Zipper Mask (also works as a GBV song title/fake band name)
Pig Champion
A bag of salad
Turkey dinnas
The Starbucks of sandwiches
I don't need music for that
Predator/Prey
You're a dude and I'm an alpha heterosexual
I don't placate
The Leelee Sobieskis of the world
As Dirty Or As Clean As You Wanna Be
There's no shower in this building
Land of the Rising Sun
It could work for ABBA, it could work for me
Turning Japanese
Open Call
Punching Meat
Say His name with reverence
Ye of little faith
I speak jive
Stray chews
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?
I don't know my handiwork no more
Listeners comma line log onto it
Always Be Closing Cobbling
Wawa wee wah
The Two-Year Itch (aka Adultery
Sleeping in the Ginn shed
Freeballin'
Celluloid Heroes
Soft-Boiled Scharpling
Par for the course
eBay Show Dogs
When the Pawn...
One-Color Meals
Held Up at the Jack Shack
The Northside of a Southbound Horse
Repo Man
Icy beats
I hate hate

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[TBSOWFMU - 12/13/05.]

Annotated highlights:

- Tom talks to Spike (starts 23:54), an authentic New Yorker who eats (did he really say "eats"?) SubUrbia.

- Tom briefly revisits last week's Ugliest Band discussion (starts 32:30), officially giving the title to Poison Idea, carried to victory by all 450 lbs. of "Pig Champion" (Charles R. Martin knows him as Tom Roberts). A few callers had some final additions to the roster.

1. Kalmuh. Seems like pretty standard-issue Euro death metal. If you dig into that genre for an Ugliest Band candidate, you really need to unearth something special, like high-grade dermatitis, facial pentagram tattoos, smeared goat blood, fangs, etc. These guys look relatively normal. They're the Sonic Youth of Euro death metal! (This caller may have also been confused re Pig Champion and the band Pig Destroyer, who are only guilty of having a member that looks like a young Huey Lewis.)

2. The Electric Eels. Tom noted that John Morton looked "pretty rough" (and Dave E. is not exactly visually appealing -- check him out in full-on, coke-skinny, Steven Tyler-with-a-'fro mode). My take on Morton: Faith No More's Billy Gould (circa early '90s) wearing a blonde wig modeled after circa-'88-ish Tina Yothers. Do the math:

eels_math.jpg

3. 21st century W. Axl Rose. Tom expanded that to include any member of the new GNR, though he also noted the "bloated, frat-metal"-looking Matt Sorum from the UYI lineup. [Related Google image search result that made me laugh.]

4. The Fugs

Finally, I can't believe there hasn't been a vote for circa-now Old Skull!

- Officer Tom calls (starts at 56:30) to talk about how to irritate cops, Collars for Dollars, chain restaurants, and Tom's run-in at a local diner over some missing endive.

- Tom re-enacts FourthrateKeanuReeves Klein's part hilarious/part frightening chat with Elle magazine (starts at 1:29). According to Thunder, Hippie Johnny's Media Relations Manager, Klein recently bought a cabin in Mellow Grove and will take over the Farm Fresh Auto Parts® business. Word is that he has his eye on several Grove chicks, but wants to review their cauldron scrubbing technique before beginning formal pursuit. Don't let Moonbeam or Silver Tears or Star or Hawk Girl or Mountain Child or Ocean or Summer or Misty or Luna or Rain or Placid or Morning or Autumn or Prosperity or Peace or Stardust or Opal or Miracle or Wildwind or Winter or Violet or Trinity or Emerald or Dharma or Marigold or Liberty or Coral or Sapphire or Iris or Andromeda get away, Chris!

- MC Steinberg drops some magic starting at the 1:42 mark, including the debut of "Fun Time Happy", a song written for the Tokyo market.

- Tour de force call from Philly Boy Roy (starts at 1:49), excited about two recent accomplishments: a callback for Rocky VI and his "extreme" retool for the Goldenberg Peanut Chews site. He's so riled up that he even flubs a la Alec Baldwin (Outside Providence) during the Santa's Workshop sketch. PBR also surprises Tom with some non-Philly musical interests and the call ends with a threat of homicide-by-hoagie.

- Tom serenades Petey (starts at 2:09) with a Kinks song. Glorious stuff.

- The lovable, ambitious, retired Police Sgt./F.B.I. Agent Scag Winesack calls (starts at 2:23) for some advice on a recent inheritance and several new best-sellers in the works. [Bonus Earles track: "Angry Mr. Bungle Fan"]

-Tom debuts a new speed-roundy segment at 2:42: I Love/I Hate. Some faves: Animal conservationists/Beethoven's hearing loss, Cardboard/Miami Police Dept., Ravioli/Scientologists, Kraftwerk/Living Colour [Guess who? Chimes in at 2:49], Napalm Death/Hoboken Parking Authority (I assume this is a subpar speed metal band), All night love-making sessions/dawn and with it the end of all night love-making sessions, Husker Du/Buying grapes with seeds in them.

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