So the main topic tonight was determining the Ugliest Band in Rock History (starts at 40:05). Rick from South Westbridge, N.J., called in and offered a supergroup of ugly:
Mick Mars - Guitar
Paul "The Blob" Goddard (Atlanta Rhythmn Section) - Bass
Edgar Winter - Saxophone
Tommy Aldridge (Black Oak Arkansas, Whitesnake, Nuge, etc.) - Drums
Gwen Stefani ("Have you seen pics of her without her makeup?") - Vocals
[Rick also declared last week's Target Greatland (curndles!) SNL sketch to be his favorite sketch ever.]
Timmy von Trimble (starts at 52:09) also chimed in:
Sounded like Keith something - Guitar and Vocals
James Lo (Live Skull and Chavez) - Drums
Billy Cox (Jimi Hendrix, Band of Gypsys) - Bass
Jimi Hendrix - Guitar and Vocals
Herbie Hancock - Keyboards
Clarence Clemons - Saxophone
[TvT claimed to be oblivious to the racial make-up of his band, thus generating my second choice for an SL: "Geez, are they?"]
Other nominations: Kiss sans makeup, Twisted Sister, Wilson Phillips (denied by Tom), Pet Sounds-era The Beach Boys ("The Jacksons but fat and white"), The Rolling Stones (sort of denied by Tom), The Cars (aside from the obvious Ocasek, Tom cited Greg Hawkes, to be played by Fred Armisen in the film adaptation of this post), R.E.M., Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention, Bachman Turner Overweight, Vanilla Fudge (first incarnation), Quiet Riot, Captain Beefheart, Canned Heat, Hot Tuna, Alice Cooper ("Who's she?"), Rush ("the Canadian group"), Jethro Tull, Sonic Youth (denied by Tom: "They look normal"), Kansas, Motorhead, Coheed and Cambria ("the Baldwin brother that they keep locked in the attic, the son of a guy from L.A. Guns, and a generic indie rocker"), The Playmates (or is it these guys?), Radiohead, Neil Young, Bill Haley and the Comets (Comets = E. Levy as Rawl Withers from SCTV, Larry Miller, and Joe Flaherty with a thin, Bud Abbott mustache), The Melvins, Sid Vicious, Crosby, Stills, & Nash, The Bee Gees, Larz Kristerz, Slade, The Residents, The Pogues, Black Oak Arkansas, Jim Morrison (Denied by Tom: "He's dead, though"), Agnostic Front, The Cure, Rod Stewart, everybody in Blondie except D. Harry, Chilliwack, The Dills, The Dead Boys, Superchunk rhythmn section, The Byrds (denied by Tom), Insane Clown Posse, Geto Boys, The Who post-Keith Moon, Meatloaf, The Barnacle Blues Band, The Oak Ridge Boys, Mott the Hopple [sic], Janis Joplin, King Diamond/Mercyful Fate, Tad, Bowser from Sha Na Na, and The Ramones.
Ugliest Fans: Sonic Youth or Insane Clown Posse (Tom's pick)
I tried to think of some additions, but didn't come up with anything good. Gwar seems too obvious. Maybe Kix? Just about any Scandinavian metal band is probably a safe bet. The Bangles? Living Colour?
Also don't miss hearing Hal (starts at 1:19), a father of 28 who calls to offer Tom an in-home demo of Newbridge Vinyl Siding's new TundraPlus product (comes in the eye-appealing "deep fudge" color) and talk about his unusual family life.
UPDATE 12/11/05: Tom declared a winner on the FOT board yesterday. The Ugliest Band of All-Time is Poison Idea.